So. I shall be crossposting this at all my various blogs. It shall be long. It shall be entertaining, I hope. It shall be honest. It may be slightly bias. Bare with me, folks.
So I just so happened to head home RIGHT as the VMA'S began; now I used to love...nay adore the VMA's, I never missed it and often taped and re-watched that 3 hour bastard. The last several years have gone down more with every bad performance, lame theme and bad video feeds, etc; I would say since the Wayan Brothers hosted. This year all the hype made me kind of want to watch, however after a long day at work I had actually decided against it. Turned on to see what was happening and the bitch had just started. So this is my idea of what the VMA'S should be and what we actually witnessed this evening:
Funny host. Not stand-up routine all evening, but funny and able to hold the show, keep it going.
Open with a stellar performance. Award given. Award Given. Performance. Award given. Skit if you must. Performance. End with an even more stellar performance. I figure if it is a two hour long show there should be 10 performances no more no less. Give out the awards in a timely manner and allow them some time to guffaw before you usher them away. Maybe a twenty minute pre-show and a ten minute post. No more no less. If next year the show runs as this, I have been plagarized; let me know so I can cash in.
So tonights show:
Russel Brand. Now I think the chap is funny. I loved him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, he was just slimey enough and yet so clueless he likely had no idea he was indeed slimey. I thought he was clearly very nervous as his eyes never left the teleprompter. I am sure he kept asking 'how the fuck did I get this gig'. But I think he was funny although most those in the crowd are so jaded I doubt they got his humor. He kept things running and he seemed to have a clue about what was going on. He also looks like a rockstar, disheveled looks and all, so he seemed to fit right in with everyone. I love the Jonas Brothers [at the moment, lets see how long it lasts] and even I thought the promise ring jokes were funny. WTF Jordin Sparks had to do with it, I do not know.
Performances:
Rihanna: Since she's so hot right now, of course she opened the show. Looked cool. Sounded like shit. WHO signed her? Oh wait...Jay Z, really?.....REALLY? She cannot sing live. I like the texture of her voice usually, so clearly that shit is played with A LOT in the studio because she cannot sing. I thought last year she was nervous. I guess not. She looked good though, but overall performance was weak, I thought.
Jonas Brothers: I dislike this song to be honest so my opinion was already tainted. It's a decent song but not one for their FIRST VMA performance, unless they want it to be their last. The kids running in made it seem so teeny-bopperish which I guess is ok. Having Joe's GF intro them was LAME. Joe attempting to be hot and rip open his vest only made him NOT hot. Nick was cute though.
Pink: This bitch is flawless, I do not know why she does not get more respect. I've seen her live at least four times and she always sounds strong and has a good time and NEVER does the same thing twice. I like the song okay but her performance made it better. I knew she was hiding something beneath that jacket. I knew it. She's a hot number and apparently she wants to show it.
Paramore: I love, love, love this song. I think it was nice to see what an actual LIVE performance is like. However, it is the VMA's, so I don't think it would have been too much to ask them to do something outrageous. Hayley is awesome though, I dig her, she's a fucking rockstar. I liked that they switched it up and they were at the theatre.
Lil Wayne: I'm not a fan but am aware the man has skills. I like the flow of his rhymes and they're always really clever. I don't think he likely puts on a good live show, tonight being evident. I don't think it took off until T-Pain came out and then it was pretty priceless. I dug it after that; although pull your pants up, I hate when they do that. Like, we get it, you're a gangster. WE GET IT, WEEZY!
T.I.: Now, I love me some TI. I am glad he is changing his music a little because some of his rhymes were getting old. We get that you were a rough and tumble tyke and you sold some shit. Move on. But I've seen him perform on a few shows and I know he can put on a show. Tonight I was bored. The car thing was lame, and I get that they were doing a whole Hollywood backlot thing, but...I don't know I didn't like it. And AGAIN with Rihanna. Really? Moving on.
Kayne: We know I loath him. I don't care if he is talented he knows he is and that's just not cool. I mean, be confident and know you're good at what you do, but throw a fit when no one else knows it and you're ill. I did not like the song and thought it was such a downer to end the show on, to be honest.
Kid Rock: He never fails to impress. Although it was pretty low key in comparison to his AWESOME performance back in 1999, which I still feel is one of the better VMA performances ever, he pulled it off. I think he killed it and when Weezy came out, it was perfect. Plus I really dig that song, so for me it was a good performance.
Christina Aguilera: I think Chris is officialy biting at Madge's heels, to be honest. Perfection. It was a hot opening and it brought you back to who she started out as and then she kind of showed you who Christina is now. I did not like that she was lipping for some of it, but she clearly was singing as well. I dug the new song too, and I think she just owned the stage, the only GREAT, worthy of talking about performance of the night. Look out Madge, someone wants your throne.
As far as the rest of the show, like I said, I like Brand so I thought he did well. The only presenter who seemed to want to be there was Jamie Foxx. I thought some of the production was rough around the edges but it was not the worst VMA's ever [last years was, IMHO]
So the most exciting thing: BRITNEY WON. Not one. Not even two, but three. She looked fucking A-MA-Z-ZAA-ZING. She seemed a little stunned when she won, like...I get one of those? But she was sweet and it seemed like they were kind of trying to make up for the debacle that was last year [although as I've said before I didn't think it was THAT bad]. I liked the opening thing but she clearly had a rough time filming it because she kept laughing. It was cute though, I love Jonah Hill so yeah. It was good for her to be seen like the rockstar she is.
Um what else. Let's see. Benji and Paris make me sick and are fucking posers, no matter how you look at it. Um can Taylor and Joe come out as a couple already? WTF. Its not like its a secret. I'm completely over Chris Brown And Rihanna. dunzo. Heidi and Spencer make me ill, and his beard scares me. What exactly was Demi Moore doing there? I dislike Sway and tonight reminds me why; I missed the opening show so I don't know who performed. Oh and Shia looked good, but I swore he hid his hand from the camera. Why was Busta there? He looked so weird just kind of being there. Lindsay did not look good and I love Linds, so ya know I'm being honest. Ciara looked alright. Paris looked okay despite being a poser. PCD won but they looked weak, I thought. And Nicole's voice reminds me of another singer when she talks and I can't remember who it is. I think Nicole is secretly in love with Bill from Tokio Hotel btw.
That reminds me, the biggest moment of the night! Tokio Hotel won Best New Artist! Freaking Exciting. I voted only a few times but it feels good to make a choice and see them win. They deserve it because while they're not huge here, yet, they are massive overseas so they have some dues coming. I was so excited. Best moment of the night. I bet Nicole is trying to do something dirty with Billa right now, while Tom tries to do something dirty to her!
And just like that, I'm .......
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